So, I Closed My Eyes, & Practiced from the Inside Out

women-eyes-closedLately, I’ve become more connected with my personal yoga practice than ever before.  Rather than dutifully unrolling my mat, going through the same warm ups, sun salutations, and 4 or 5 standing postures for 40 minutes, I start in savasana and just listen.

While I  feel good after my morning asana and meditation, there have been times (admittedly), that I had to muscle myself a bit to get my butt on the mat. Of course, once I begin, I know why I’m there.  My body always feels more alive after the physical part of my practice.  But, recently, my meditations were becoming more and more thought-filled. I’m talking, unstoppable-freight-train types of thoughts.  This wasn’t the meditation I’d fallen in love with during teacher training.  So, I stepped back, paused, took in a full breath and saw clearly what was happening. My routine was becoming…well, routine.  I was going through the motions like I used to at church mass. I wasn’t really practicing yoga.

I realized that I wasn’t getting much more than physical wellness out of my practice, because I wasn’t giving much more than my physical presence. And, my meditations were so full of distraction, that by the time my “zen alarm” went off, my mind was even more chaotic, as if I’d been watching television. Something had to change. Continue reading